Quotes
Davey Stone: Smell ya later, Poopsicle!
Davey Stone: Hey, Jelly Jugs, next time you're on my court, you better wear a bra, okay?
Whitey: Don't worry son, I think you have very nice boobs.
Eleanor Duvall: Holy shit, did the mall just say something?
Benjamin: Eat that nutstrap, BIACH!
Jennifer: Benjamin?
Jennifer: Thanks for sharing the Holiday spirit, psycho.
Eleanor Duvall: They were giving out free lobster bibs in the bathroom.
Whitey: That's not a lobster bib Eleanore its a germ protector for your tushey.
Whitey: That's a technical foul!
Whitey: He's just kidding, son. You have very nice boobs.
Victoria's Secret Salesperson: Aren't you a boy?
Mayor: Whitey, for the first time your partner Davey Stone did something good for this community.
Eleanore: What'd he do? Steal beer for everyone?
Davey: Make some long distance calls?
Eleanore: You'll get a kick in the balls!
Davey: Good night, mayor! And the answer to your question is Spencer's Gifts. They definitely have furry underwear.
Old Lady: [disgusted at the mayor] You're gross.
Mayor: Ohh...
Davey: I can't believe I haven't killed myself / Here with Wigs McGee and a furry elf / She's neurotic and he's a troll / How did I get stuck in this shithole? / Guess I'll have to deal with your demands / But please don't touch me with your alien hands.
Chinese Waiter: Congratulations! Now please excuse me while I go take shower!
Eleanor Duvall: Whitey, where were you? You're an hour and 51 minutes late. I already called the Morgue. They said you weren't there but to try back later.
Davey Stone: [while Whitey is having a seizure] Okay, that's it no one wants to see an old man die! Fatty's team loses cuz I wanna see him cry again.
Davey Stone: Easy seizure boy!
Whitey: This is the happiest seizure of my life!
Whitey: Wow! What a neat Etch-a-Sketch.
Davey Stone: It's a Gameboy you idiot!
Whitey: My hand is in your mouth kitty but I don't feel any teeth.
Davey Stone: I wonder if that guy ever wiped his ass with the wrong hand? Tom Baltezor: Yes.
Whitey: Shaving the chest hairs.
Eleanore: Nobody likes a unibrow.
Eleanor Duvall: Hey, look! He already stole something!
Whitey: It's a letter from my parents.
Eleanor Duvall: Well why don't you go live them?
Whitey: They died.
Eleanor Duvall: My bad.
Eleanor Duvall: [As Davey enters] Oh my goodness - it's a home invasion robbery! Please, mister, take whatever you want but please don't chop my legs off!
Davey Stone: How did you get so good on the ice, anyway?
Whitey: In the '50s I refed youth hockey for a couple of seasons.
Eleanor Duvall: Until a hockey puck struck him in the back of the head.
Whitey: Nothin' a metal plate couldn't fix.
Eleanor Duvall: You were in a coma for three months.
Whitey: I needed the rest, anyway!
